My History. Be gentle, It's my first Blog.

I am currently undergoing hormone replacement therapy in preparation for my sex change operation, which, if successful, will enable me to fulfill my life long dream of possibly becoming one of Hef's playgirl bunny's. Since leaving my hometown, I have become a registered sex offender and spent three years in Cardiff Prison for the attempted rape of two elderly ladies I was looking after in my last job, a carer at 'Betterston's Home for the Elderly'. The situation became somewhat overheated as I mistook the commands both women gave me asking for both their bedside pans to be changed, whereas I actually thought they were gesturing me, sexually, to give them a three way heavy make-out... I learnt later that that was not what they were requesting, but only after the police were called and arrested me on the spot...the rest is history. In my time in prison, I met many new companions, many of whom taught me the secret ways of the criminal underworld. Upon leaving prison, serving only half my sentence for good behaviour, I put my newly learned skills to the test and became a common drug dealer.Transporting massive amounts of cocaine and heroin via my rectum to locations all over the world. After doing this kind of work, you make many friends and enemies, luckily I was an easy person to get along with so I made more of one than the other. I quickly rose above the ranks from a small time dealer to become one of the top dogs, you may remember me at that period of my life, my name I went by was 'El Capitino Hushisha'. I had built a grand empire around me, but sadly it collapsed shortly after as my desire for butterfly collecting interfered with the daily routine of being a drug baron and with its demise came my return to St. George, my home town where I am currently working as a postman, stealing packets of money to rebuild what I once lost selling anything I find of value to the local pawn shop where I once worked so I get better deals then normal customers there... one day, I'll be back on top. I'm also the chairman of 'The Official Fridge Magnet Collecting Society'. I Myself have over 2 million at last count and am still missing a few from having entire complete worldwide collection of every fridge magnet ever.